If You Are Your Parent's Funeral Plan
Death and dying is a difficult
conversation.
Funeral arranging is a difficult
conversation.
But do you know what needs to be done when there is death?
If your parents have taken care of
their funeral arrangements, good for
you.
If they haven’t, you've got to get yourself
and your wallet ready. Some parents have
many loving reasons for pre-arranging their own funeral but, some parents have
many reasons for not arranging their own funeral as well. That I will cover separately.
1. Know your parent's preference.
This is crucial specially if there are more than one decision makers in
the family. For some families, this issue becomes a legal battle.
Do they want cremation or a traditional
burial? Eldest brother wants dad cremated, but other siblings want him
buried. Is it open casket or closed
casket? My mom declared that if she doesn’t look good at all, or if she will
lose so much weight before passing, it has to be made a closed casket. Is it going to be a private viewing or there's
a public viewing.
Sadly, sometimes members of the
family are not in one accord on these decisions and regrettably ends up bitter with each other during or after a funeral. Shouldn’t a passing of a parent strengthen the bond of siblings, but a disagreement may tore them apart.
2. Know the cost
While cremation is a family tradition
with some families, it is not an option for some at all. But
how many times have you heard that some families painfully resorted to
cremation although they want their loved ones to be traditionally buried? How
painful it is to choose something you don’t want but because cremation fit their budget at that
time. It is heart breaking. Unfortunately for some families, their kids, or
their only kid is not capable financially.
And it results to overwhelming emotional stress.
Imagine your hands being tied on what
you wish you could do for your parents but you are not able to; or imagine
spending the money you don’t have.
3. Who will arrange it and who is going to pay for it?
If you're the only kid, and you are
your parents’ funeral plan, you’ll arrange it and pay for it. No doubt. What
about if you have siblings? Assuming that
a traditional burial will cost $30,000.00 how are you going to pay for the
cost? Understanding the high cost of a
traditional burial and knowing that it’s the only choice for my parents, I
asked my siblings, "If any one of mom and dad dies, whose pocket are we
going to pull the $30k?" It’s a
harsh question, but I got my siblings to get together, talked it out and we did pre-planning for my parents
immediately.
When the pre-arrangements were
planned, the taxes and third-party items were calculated, and funded so that in
the future, whoever sits and finalize
the arrangement would not have to fork these out of his pocket.
Everyone is happy with their share.
©Copyright 2022 Edna Navarro. All Rights Reserved.
Edna Navarro is a Community Service Counselor
at Oak Hill Memorial Park.
Call or Text @ (408) 794 9336 and email: edna.navarro@dignitymemorial.com
