What Do You Need to Know If You are Your Parent's Funeral Plan?

Three Things You Need To Know
If You Are Your Parent's Funeral Plan

Death and dying is a difficult conversation.

Funeral arranging is a difficult conversation.

But do you know what needs to be done when there is death?

If your parents have taken care of their funeral arrangements,  good for you.

If they haven’t, you've got to get yourself and your wallet ready.  Some parents have many loving reasons for pre-arranging their own funeral but, some parents have many reasons for not arranging their own funeral as well.  That I will cover separately.

1. Know your parent's preference.  This is crucial specially if there are more than one decision makers in the family. For some families, this issue becomes a legal battle.

Do they want cremation or a traditional burial? Eldest brother wants dad cremated, but other siblings want him buried.  Is it open casket or closed casket? My mom declared that if she doesn’t look good at all, or if she will lose so much weight before passing, it has to be made  a closed casket.  Is it going to be a private viewing or there's a public viewing.

Sadly, sometimes members of the family are not in one accord on these decisions and regrettably  ends up bitter with each other  during or after a funeral.  Shouldn’t a passing of a parent  strengthen the bond of siblings,  but a disagreement  may  tore them apart.

2. Know the cost

While cremation is a family tradition with some families, it is not an option for some at all.   But  how many times have you heard that some families painfully resorted to cremation although they want their loved ones to be traditionally buried? How painful it is to choose something you don’t want but  because cremation fit their budget at that time. It is heart breaking. Unfortunately for some families, their kids, or their only kid is not capable financially.  And it results to overwhelming emotional stress. 

Imagine your hands being tied on what you wish you could do for your parents but you are not able to; or imagine spending the money you don’t have.

3. Who will arrange it and who is going to pay for it?

If you're the only kid, and you are your parents’ funeral plan, you’ll arrange it and pay for it. No doubt. What about if you have siblings?  Assuming that a traditional burial will cost $30,000.00 how are you going to pay for the cost?  Understanding the high cost of a traditional burial and knowing that it’s the only choice for my parents, I asked my siblings, "If any one of mom and dad dies, whose pocket are we going to pull the $30k?"  It’s a harsh  question, but I got  my siblings to get together, talked  it out and we did pre-planning for my parents immediately. 

When the pre-arrangements were planned, the taxes and third-party items were calculated, and funded so that in the future,  whoever sits and finalize the arrangement  would not have to fork these out of his pocket. Everyone is happy with their share.

©Copyright 2022 Edna Navarro.  All Rights Reserved.

Edna Navarro is a Community Service Counselor at Oak Hill Memorial Park. 

Call or Text @ (408) 794 9336 and email:  edna.navarro@dignitymemorial.com